How One Woman Learned to Love Every Inch of Herself (and Put on a Bathing Suit)

In a world where it’s difficult to tell the difference between a photoshopped body and a real woman, it’s about time we realize imperfections are beautiful. A new mom explains on Your Tango why it’s time to stop apologizing for not having an ideal figure.

You have one life. Love your body now, as is.

For the first few mornings of our vacation, I didn’t go swimming with everyone else. I joined them at the pool after working out at the gym, and I sat by the water in my sweaty workout clothes, dipping my feet in, passing the time until I could put my 2-year-old down for a nap and slip into the shower.

But that morning, my son begged me to get in my bathing suit and swim with him.

I usually think of myself as very body-positive. I’m an advocate for loving whatever size you are. I want all the body-shaming that goes on in this world to freaking end already.

I’ve made enormous strides in my relationship with my body ¡ª from hiding in baggy t-shirts as an adolescent to skipping meals to become skinny in my 20s to freaking out about the enormous changes that pregnancy and birth brought in my thirties and to finally feeling at peace with my shape now, as I edge toward 40.

But humans aren’t perfect, and for women especially, our body shame runs deep. So even though I’m the most comfortable I’ve ever been in my body, when my son asked me to come to the pool in my bathing suit, I hesitated.

I hadn’t worn a bathing suit in ages. And this winter, I gained a few pounds that I was still working on losing. I was doing so in a healthful way, and wasn’t obsessing about it as I might’ve in the past. But I realized that I still looked at my body as flawed, not quite worthy of parading about half-naked in public.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting my body to be healthier. Those extra pounds I’d gained (and the extra chocolate eating that went with them) had pushed me into a less healthy place.

But even aside from those pounds, I’ve always had a notion that when both of my kids are in school full-time and generally more independent, I’d have more hours to tend to my own needs, and might be able to lose a little weight or tighten a few muscles.

In other words, no matter how much I try to resist it, there’s always an ideal shape I imagine for myself, somewhere out in the future.

But why should I wait to declare my body perfectly beautiful? Why should I apologize to myself or the world for my body’s imperfections?

I snapped a photo of myself in my bathing suit as I was heading out to meet my family at the hotel pool. And when I snapped this picture, I decided then and there that I’d share it with others.

I’m not sharing it to say, “This is me, with all my imperfections.” I’m not saying, “Hey, look at this mom-body.” I’m not sharing to show you a “before” picture. I’m not trying to show you a woman who’s beautiful despite her bumpy thighs and wide hips.

I’m sharing because when I looked at myself in the mirror, I realized that in that moment, right then, I was beautiful. I realized there’s nothing I needed to wait for to declare myself beautiful.

There’s no moment when someone’s going to hand me the beauty pageant trophy. No one is going to decide it for me; I’m the one who gets to decide when my body is just right.

And, godd*mn it, it’s today.

Why wait? As I get older, I realize that life is too short for that kind of thinking. When my body doesn’t feel “right” or “perfect,” I sit by the pool dipping in my toes instead of diving in the deep end and locking arms with my 8-year-old son, who’s just learning to swim.

I sit on the concrete instead of tossing my 2-year-old around the kiddie pool, his eyes sparkling, mouth wide open with hysterical giggles. I don’t get to feel the sun on my legs, the wind tickling the small of my back.

I’ll be 40 in two years. There’s no point in waiting to call this body beautiful. My body is beautiful, right now.

The same is true for you. There’s only one body you get in this lifetime. Love it now. Don’t wait. Love the hell out of it. Your body is beautiful.

¡ª Wendy Wisner

Check out more great stories from Your Tango:

10 Inspirational Quotes About Change to Get You Out of Your SlumpGuys Review 8 Different Types af Vaginas (Yes, Really)Love Someone With An Eating Disorder? 5 Ways to Be Good to ThemImage Sources: Shutterstock and Wendy Wisner

How One Woman Learned to Love Every Inch of Herself (and Put on a Bathing Suit)

In a world where it’s difficult to tell the difference between a photoshopped body and a real woman| it’s about time we realize imperfections are beautiful. A new mom explains on Your Tango why it’s time to stop apologizing for not having an ideal figure.

You have one life. Love your body now| as is.

For the first few mornings of our vacation| I didn’t go swimming with everyone else. I joined them at the pool after working out at the gym| and I sat by the water in my sweaty workout clothes| dipping my feet in| passing the time until I could put my 2-year-old down for a nap and slip into the shower.

But that morning| my son begged me to get in my bathing suit and swim with him.

I usually think of myself as very body-positive. I’m an advocate for loving whatever size you are. I want all the body-shaming that goes on in this world to freaking end already.

I’ve made enormous strides in my relationship with my body from hiding in baggy t-shirts as an adolescent to skipping meals to become skinny in my 20s to freaking out about the enormous changes that pregnancy and birth brought in my thirties and to finally feeling at peace with my shape now| as I edge toward 40.

But humans aren’t perfect| and for women especially| our body shame runs deep. So even though I’m the most comfortable I’ve ever been in my body| when my son asked me to come to the pool in my bathing suit| I hesitated.

I hadn’t worn a bathing suit in ages. And this winter| I gained a few pounds that I was still working on losing. I was doing so in a healthful way| and wasn’t obsessing about it as I might’ve in the past. But I realized that I still looked at my body as flawed| not quite worthy of parading about half-naked in public.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting my body to be healthier. Those extra pounds I’d gained (and the extra chocolate eating that went with them) had pushed me into a less healthy place.

But even aside from those pounds| I’ve always had a notion that when both of my kids are in school full-time and generally more independent| I’d have more hours to tend to my own needs| and might be able to lose a little weight or tighten a few muscles.

In other words| no matter how much I try to resist it| there’s always an ideal shape I imagine for myself| somewhere out in the future.

But why should I wait to declare my body perfectly beautiful? Why should I apologize to myself or the world for my body’s imperfections?

I snapped a photo of myself in my bathing suit as I was heading out to meet my family at the hotel pool. And when I snapped this picture| I decided then and there that I’d share it with others.

I’m not sharing it to say| “This is me| with all my imperfections.” I’m not saying| “Hey| look at this mom-body.” I’m not sharing to show you a “before” picture. I’m not trying to show you a woman who’s beautiful despite her bumpy thighs and wide hips.

I’m sharing because when I looked at myself in the mirror| I realized that in that moment| right then| I was beautiful. I realized there’s nothing I needed to wait for to declare myself beautiful.

There’s no moment when someone’s going to hand me the beauty pageant trophy. No one is going to decide it for me; I’m the one who gets to decide when my body is just right.

And| godd*mn it| it’s today.

Why wait? As I get older| I realize that life is too short for that kind of thinking. When my body doesn’t feel “right” or “perfect|” I sit by the pool dipping in my toes instead of diving in the deep end and locking arms with my 8-year-old son| who’s just learning to swim.

I sit on the concrete instead of tossing my 2-year-old around the kiddie pool| his eyes sparkling| mouth wide open with hysterical giggles. I don’t get to feel the sun on my legs| the wind tickling the small of my back.

I’ll be 40 in two years. There’s no point in waiting to call this body beautiful. My body is beautiful| right now.

The same is true for you. There’s only one body you get in this lifetime. Love it now. Don’t wait. Love the hell out of it. Your body is beautiful.

¡ª Wendy Wisner

Check out more great stories from Your Tango:

10 Inspirational Quotes About Change to Get You Out of Your SlumpGuys Review 8 Different Types af Vaginas (Yes| Really)Love Someone With An Eating Disorder? 5 Ways to Be Good to ThemImage Sources: Shutterstock and Wendy Wisner

10 Hollywood Babes Who Prove Every Body Is Beautiful

10 Hollywood Babes Who Prove Every Body Is Beautiful

Celebrities are often put on pedestals. We look to them for red carpet style inspiration| add their photos to our DIY their looks. But often| just as much as they’re praised for being more beautiful than the average human| they are also torn down. Especially when it comes to their curves. But these A-listers are not afraid to speak out against the Internet trolls and talk back to the haters. Anyone who has ever been bullied or tormented for their appearance can benefit from reading these comebacks that have us saying| “You go| girl!””

| Lena Dunham

After the Girls star and creator posted a photo of herself scantily clad on Instagram| she removed it. Usually Lena is very open about sharing images of her curvaceous body| but this time| she shut down the Internet trolls by taking down the image and sharing a new one with the following caption:

“”I just deleted a pic of me in my boyfriend’s underwear. Just an FYI| I don’t delete because I’m ashamed of my body u2014 I delete because certain pics become hotbeds for negativity. You think I want a teenager visiting my page and seeing a zillion comments about how fat I am? No| because that is hurtful to any person struggling| comparing| contrasting.””

| Amy Schumer

The comedienne is loud and proud about her body| and she even created a spoof of 12 Angry Men for her show Inside Amy Schumer| concerning the criticism she’s received. During the sketch| a round table of male jurors debates if Amy is “”hot enough for TV.”” (She is.) Then she also shared this almost-nude image on Twitter with the tweet:

“”I am a size 6 and have no plans of changing. This is it. Stay on or get off. Kisses!””

| Lea DeLaria

At 57| this Orange Is the New Black star has accepted herself. In a video for Style Like U feature| she explained her theories on women’s bodies today| while stripping down to her sports bra and boxers.

“”I am a proud fat woman| period|”” she said. “”We live in a fat-ist society that expects| especially of women| certain things| especially around their weight and it’s bullsh*t. . . . It freaks me when I am standing next to a woman who is maybe 100 pounds soaking wet| talking about how fat she is . . . Men can weight any f*cking weight they want. The can be any weight they want. No one gives them sh*t about it . . . Obesity is an issue. I get it u2014 it’s a problem. It causes a lot of things that people need to be aware of| right? But the flip coin of that is it’s mostly genetics| and there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just that simple. Fat is not ugly. In fact| it’s quite beautiful.””

| Kelly Clarkson

After a UK personality Katie Hopkins tweeted criticisms of Kelly’s postbaby body (“”Jesus| what happened to Kelly Clarkson? Did she eat all of her backing singers?”” she said)| the singer brushed it off. Kelly told Heat magazine:

“”She’s tweeted something nasty about me? That’s because she doesn’t know me. I’m awesome! It doesn’t bother me. It’s a free world. Say what you will . . . I’ve just never cared what people think. It’s more if I’m happy and I’m confident and feeling good u2014 that’s always been my thing. And more so now| since having a family u2014 I don’t seek out any other acceptance.””

| Pink

No one is getting the best of Pink! When she received negative feedback via Twitter about her weight| she responded this PSA:

“”I can see that some of you are concerned about me from your comments about my weight. You’re referring to the pictures of me from last night’s cancer benefit that I attended to support my dear friend Dr. Maggie DiNome. She was given the Duke Award for her tireless efforts and stellar contributions to the eradication of cancer. But unfortunately| my weight seems much more important to some of you. While I admit that the dress didn’t photograph as well as it did in my kitchen| I will also admit that I felt very pretty. In fact| I feel beautiful. So| my good and concerned peoples| please don’t worry about me. I’m not worried about me. And I’m not worried about you either. I am perfectly fine| perfectly happy| and my healthy| voluptuous| and crazy strong body is having some much deserved time off. Thanks for your concern. Love| cheesecake.””

| Jennifer Lawrence

You can’t play the fierce Katniss Everdeen and not have a healthy looking (enviable body!). In an interview with Barbara Walters| Jennifer revealed her feelings about using the word “”fat.”” She said:

“”All of the sudden| being funny is making fun of the girl that’s wearing an ugly dress. And the word ‘fat.’ I just think it should be illegal to call somebody ‘fat’ on TV. If we’re regulating cigarettes and sex and cuss words because of the effect it has on our younger generation| why aren’t we regulating things like calling somebody ‘fat’?””

| Hilary Duff

Growing up in the spotlight has given Hilary a thick skin| and she refuses to fall for the stress society puts on Hollywood stars. She said the following in Shape:

“”There’s so much pressure to always have it together| and I’m not falling for it. You see supermodels who have babies| and the next week they look as if they were never pregnant. That was not the case with me. Some days I feel great| others I feel pretty normal| and that’s acceptable.””

| Danielle Brooks

Perhaps Danielle (Taystee from Orange Is the New Black) could have been a Spice Girl in her past life| because she is all about girl power. She preached her positive thoughts via an Instagram of her working out in just a sports bra and leggings:

“”Today I decided to do something I’ve never done before: Go to the gym with my SHIRT OFF!! I thought I’d share why this is significant for me. I’ve always wanted to do this but have felt shameful and have told myself “”until my body is perfect I’m forbidden.”” Today my inner being told me to turn up the notch on my self-love. I should not be ashamed of my body. I’m not a walking imperfection! I’m a Goddess. Secondly| I’m a confident woman! That doesn’t stop once I take off my spanx. Lol Sometimes it’s a struggle. Sometimes I don’t like what I see| but I have the power to change the way in which I relate to my body both physically and mentally. Today I woke up feeling beautiful and motivated to love myself and take care of the ONE body that I’ve been given. I’m not saying World take your shirt off| twist it round your head| spin it like a helicopter| (lol) I’m saying everyone live in your confidence. One Life. One Body. Take Care of It.””

| Mindy Kaling

After Mindy told Vogue| “”I don’t want to be skinny|”” she received a ton of backlash from haters condescendingly praising her for accepting her size-eight body. So she went on Jimmy Kimmel Live! and cleared the air on how she feels:

“”I’m also the recipient of a lot of backhanded compliments about it| where people are| like| ‘It’s so nice that Mindy Kaling doesn’t feel she needs to subscribe to the ideals of beauty that other people do.’ And I’m like| I do subscribe. They’re| like| ‘It’s so refreshing that Mindy feels comfortable to let herself go and be a fat sea monster!’ By the way| I run and work out. It takes a lot of effort to look like a normal/chubby woman.””

| Kate Winslet

Don’t expect Kate to be apologetic about actually looking like a woman who has given birth to three children. She’s also openly against photoshopping. As she told Harper’s Bazaar:

“”Thereu2019s a big part of me u2014 now| more than ever before u2014 that feels a sense of responsibility for how other women view themselves . . . I will particularly say when I look at movie posters| u2018You guys have airbrushed my forehead. Please can you change it back?u2019 . . .

“”Take having the baby| for instance. Have I actively been on a diet to lose my baby weight? No| I havenu2019t. I genuinely bloody havenu2019t. I so didnu2019t want to be one of those| ‘Oh| wow| sheu2019s back in shape after 12 weeks’ women. When I read things like that| I just think| ‘Oh| for f*ck’s sake| that’s actually impossible . . . I want to keep my health and my sanity and be well fed and happy. My body will never go back to what it was| and I wouldnu2019t expect it to after three babies.””